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January 2, 2012
We
have all had experiences of being present in simple
appreciation. What gets in the way of a more lasting experience
of spiritual presence in our lives? Why does it get disrupted?
We ourselves, of course, are the chief obstacle to deeper
presence. Beyond certain cultural impediments to the
transcendent, certain functional orientations and fixations, and
the difficulties and distractions that arise in our day-to-day
living, the facticities of our own formation require the most
attention. This and the following reflection will briefly
outline the factors we might consider in attempting to
understand the broad range of obstacles that impinge upon and
impede our desire for satisfying human presence.
Martin Heidegger
observed that da-sein (human being) is always “mooded.”
We have to take this into account. We are always more or less
in the grip of one mood or state-of-mind or another. Simple
presence occurs when we are at least not caught in a mood; i.e.,
when we are aware of and thus on the way beyond the particular
coloration of a mood. We may ask ourselves: “What mood state,
dream-state, or attitude am I in upon awakening in the
morning?” Do I react to certain words or actions by other
persons, or to disturbing memories from the past or anxious
anticipations about the future?
Recently someone
said to me that she was “troubled and confused again” by
something she had read. I focused her attention on the word
“again,” pointing as it did to her state of being. She was
troubled and confused again. We can be anxious again,
angry again, confused again, pained again.
We must be prepared to take up these troublesome repetitions in
our personal formation.
Certain emotions
have the power to destabilize us, to obstruct our potential for
simple presence. Shame, guilt, fear, anger, jealousy, and
resentment are among the usual suspects. Our habit formation
inclines us to be and to do in customary ways that become
difficult to undo. Heart-level appreciation is made difficult
when our habits are depreciative. What habits stand in the way
of my being present?
On a deeper
level: Do I have phobias that rob me of my capacity for simple
presence to reality as it is? Am I given to deluding and
deceiving myself? To what extent do negative thinking and
imagination distort reality and distract me from open-minded and
clear-minded presence? Do I fall into depressions? Am I prone
to mania?
Have my desires
‒ fulfilled and unfulfilled
‒ and my lacks affected my ability
to be reality-oriented? The wounds we carry also impose limits
on our ability to be present to ourselves, to others, and to
God. Thus, I must recognize my limits. Self-knowledge enables
me to discern where and how I can best be present to myself and
others.